Goulden Moments

Posted 10:58 AM by Gobbler
Her it is the long awaited beautiful people. should keep you quiet for 20 minutes or so. its not been edited properly so theres probably mistakes in it. but then again thres always mistakes od i dont know why im bothering to tell you now like its news.

all going well here oin the whole. delaying my return for two weeks as i think i can get everything wrapped up here in htat time. hope so anyway. Regards to all.

The Beautiful People

Ha Long Bay, Vietnam

July 7th - 9th

She was always going to cause trouble. She always did cause trouble. Ever since the age of seventeen when she had realised that she had developed into one of the planets beautiful people, the troubles had begun. Now she was 23 and fully qualified. It might have been alright if she had just been beautiful. If she had been beautiful but stupid it would have saved a lot of trouble. But she wasn’t stupid. If she had been beautiful, clever, but extremely boring it would have saved a lot of trouble. But she wasn’t boring. Even if she had been beautiful, clever and interesting, but shy and unsociable it might have saved a lot of trouble. But she wasn’t shy or unsociable. She was beautiful, clever, interesting, confident and sociable and it was always going to cause trouble. Her name was Katie; Katie the troublemaker.

Katie had always enjoyed going out because the boys were always nice to her and she could always pick which one she wanted, if she wanted one, which she usually did. She was never without a good boyfriend when she wanted one, which she usually did. She got on better with boys than with girls although her best friends were girls. The girls she met when she went out were not usually very nice to her. You can’t blame them, imagine what you would do. You have a guy in mind and you go out planning to make him yours. There you are, looking your best; your make-up, impeccably applied; your outfit, painstakingly selected; your hair, laboriously perfected; your best features, accentuated; your chosen man, attracted; your goal, within your grasp. Then along comes Katie and ruins the show. She waltzes into the room and heads turn and there’s nothing you can do about it. She turns heads without even trying; you have to work damned hard and you still can’t compete. And she doesn’t even care about all these men who are drooling over her; she’ll play with them and then leave them and there’s nothing you can do about it and you’ll be completely ignored, left out in the cold and there’s nothing you can do. People like Katie cause all the trouble in the world and now she’s completely spoilt your evening. Bitch. With Katie, you were always going to love her or hate her. And, of course, that always caused trouble.

Katie comes in to the story in Ha Long Bay, Vietnam. Ha Long Bay is one of the most beautiful places on earth and so it is fitting that Katie, one of the most beautiful people on earth, should have come on the scene at this point. Ha Long Bay is in an area of sea off the coast of Vietnam near the Chinese border. From the shallow amethyst waters jagged lumps of jungle clad rock spear into the sky, creating the occasional beach and concealed cove. Paul and Martin went on a three day tour of Ha Long Bay and they would have the pleasure of meeting Katie on the tour.

It was purely by chance that Paul had met Martin again. Martin had left Hoi An a couple of days before Paul to go to Hue. Paul had meant to go to Hue too but had had to cancel because of the problems he had had getting out of Hoi An. As he changed buses at Hue he heard a familiar voice jibbering away and it was Martin. From what Martin told him it seemed that Paul had not missed out on much in Hue. Hue is one of Vietnam’s oldest and most historical cities but took such a pounding during the Vietnam conflict (it’s not technically a war because the USA never declared war) that there is now not much left of the sights. During the Tet Offensive by the North Vietnamese in 1968 Hue was taken and retaken several times and most of the historical structures were reduced to their foundations. All in all there isn’t much to see. Well, one thing perhaps. Hue is the proud owner of Vietnam’s tallest flagpole. Fascinating stuff. It was on the bus that Martin had convinced Paul that going to Ha Long Bay was a good idea and now that they were on the boat and they had seen Katie it looked like a better idea than ever.

There were fourteen of them on the tour but we only need to be concerned with five of them. It’s perhaps not nice to completely ignore ten people; no-one likes to be ignored, but Paul inevitably met so many people and things are going to get seriously boring if we waste time with the rest of them. There are only four of interest to this story: Paul, Martin, Katie, Fraukia and a guy called Tom. Tom was another of your average guys. English, twenty-five, travelling in Vietnam looking for a good time and on the whole he got what he was looking for. Tom already knew Katie. He had met her in a bar in Hanoi a couple of days before. He had liked her at first. A lot. He and the group he was with had seen her enter with another girl and before too long Tom had taken his chance and was talking to her. They had flirted for about half an hour, but then she had gone off to talk to some other boys. Strange, annoying; they had been getting on really well and then she had just gone off to talk to some other people. That is the trouble with girls like that; you put in the hours and you get nothing in return. Yup, Tom knew her to be your classic prick-tease. And that was something he didn’t like.

There they were on the boat, sailing through some of the worlds most beautiful waters. They moved into an area of water well protected from the rest of the ocean by numerous little islands. Here they passed a floating village where they picked up fish for dinner. Paul spotted a pool table on one of the boat houses. This area of the sea may be calm but even so it is difficult to see how anyone could play a decent game of pool on what is basically a raft with a roof, but then all things are relative and when you've got the only pool table in town you accept minor problems like the balls rolling around willy-nilly. It was a delightful day. They visited a few choice coves and caves and stopped off at a couple of the islands, all in the glorious summer heat, but the best was yet to come: the evening.

Paul and Martin had shown foresight and invested in four bottles of rice vodka. They had no idea what this stuff was like but at one pound five pence for three-quarters of a litre of clear liquid promising 40 percent alcohol, it probably wasn’t the most delicious stuff in the world. They didn’t plan on drinking all four bottles, it should be said, they planned on sharing it out to anyone who might be in need of a little help not being sober. Everyone else on the boat had come similarly prepared, which meant there was plenty of booze rolling about. Well, let’s be clear about this, no-one had come as prepared as Paul and Martin, there were not two bottles of toxic liquor for every person, but there was plenty to go round and if by some miracle they drank all their own supply the boat would sell them more.

Dinner came and went without much to recommend it. The staff on the boat were impolite, as they had been all day, and service without a smile was all that was on offer. But that didn’t matter to Paul and Martin because they were on the same table as Katie. Tom was on it to and, having decided once again that he liked Katie, a lot, was busily ingratiating himself. Katie was enjoying the attention of all of them, she even managed to drag a smile out of the waiter, who couldn’t help but look at her every now and again. Everyone was enjoying themselves, at this point there were fourteen happy tourists on holiday.

Dinner over, it was time to go up on deck and get the party started, but they encountered a road block before they got there: the staff. The staff refused to turn the deck lights on, refused to loan them the radio, refused to be anything other than the miserable sods they had been all day and tried to convince everyone to go to bed. There was a standoff and unhappiness permeated every nook of the boat for a few minutes. Until Paul put his plan into action.

Paul had discussed it with Martin the day before. When Paul was in Hoi An Paul had met an Aussie guy called Bin who had been going north to south Vietnam, the opposite direction to Paul and had already been on the Ha Long Bay tour. Paul was sure that Bin was not a real name and the guy should actually have been called Ben and the Australian accent made it sound like ‘Bin’ but Bin had been quite definite that it was spelt Bin and it seemed pointless argue with him and tell him that he was named after a waste recepticle. It might not have gone down well and as the guy was Australian and spoke English he presumably knew what a bin was already. Anyway, when Bin had gone on the Ha Long Bay tour he had found that the staff on the boat were very curt and impolite with them at first, and that he had been able to solve the problem by buying them lots of drinks. The problem was, he said, that the staff on the boat were paid a ridiculously small amount and they were fed up of the rich tourists throwing money about yet still complaining about every dollar they spent, that all they wanted was to be shown a little respect. As he and everyone else had wanted to have a little party when he was on the trip, he had sweetened the crew by buying them drinks, effectively bribing them. And in Bin’s case it was problem solved: they got the deck lights turned on.

However, if Paul thought that producing two bottles of one pound five pence rice vodka and offering them to the crew was going to solve all their problems it appeared he was mistaken. He went up to one of the crew who looked like he might be in charge and asked if he would turn the deck lights on and the man repeated that it was impossible. Unfortunately none of the crew spoke much English so it was difficult to communicate, but Paul managed to indicate that they wanted to have a party, that the lights being on would help, and that the group would be very pleased if the crew would join them for the party and here was a gift of two bottles of premium grade spirit to get things going. The trouble was that, from the look on the man’s face, he did not think that this was premium grade spirit, from his facial expression it looked more like Paul was offering him two bottles of premium grade poison. Then one of the other crew, who had been listening to the conversation, had a few words with the guy Paul was talking to, who then smiled at Paul and took the two bottles from him and nodded in thanks. It seemed that, after all, he had simply not understood what Paul was trying to say. Martin, who was on the top deck, shouted down to Paul, who was on the main deck where the kitchen and the dining area was, that Katie had got the lights on. Hang on, thought Paul, if Katie has got them to turn the lights on then, then, give me my rice vodka back! But the bottles had disappeared and in any case it was too late now. At least he had managed to make one of them smile.

The rice vodka stuff turned out to be one of mankinds fouler creations but then the road from A to B, where A is sobriety and B isn’t, is not always an easy one and Paul and Martin persevered. Everyone was friendly, everyone got along, everyone mingled. Of the fourteen people on the boat there were only two couples which left ten people of whom seven were men. The moon was almost full, the sky was clear and the warm tropical heat was carried among them by a slight breeze. It was the perfect night for hanky panky and Katie the perfect person for it. If you could get her, that was the snag. If you could get her and it was a big if. Paul and Martin weren’t even trying. Martin was only nineteen and didn’t have much of an idea how he might get her to like him and wasn’t going to try, and Paul could not be bothered to fight his way through the five other guys who had been on the attack since they had got on the boat. Perhaps later, thought Paul, but he didn’t expect later to come with a Katie in it. In the meantime there was some smashing rice vodka to see to. In any case there were three other pretty, single girls on the boat. Okay, so they looked more or less pretty as long as they didn’t stand too close to Katie.

Soon the swimming began. Swimming in the dark in the sea when drunk may not sound like the brightest move in the world but this was not any old swimming, oh no. Swimming in Ha Long Bay is one of the reasons the place is famous. The phosphorescent algae in the water illuminates when it is agitated with the result that when you dive down and swim amongst it, it feels as though you are swimming among the stars like some fully fueled hippie, with magic dust trailing your every move. It is an experience that reminds you that life is beautiful.

Back on board was another experience that reminds you that life is beautiful. If you like that sort of thing.

Paul had possibly underestimated the awesome power of the rice vodka and had trouble getting back on the boat, the boat not having a ladder or any other handy piece of apparatus like a crane but he made it topside in the end. He got talking to a Dutch girl called Fraukia. He hadn’t planned on talking to her but he had slipped over on the top deck near by to her and he figured he might as well just stay there. She had not gone swimming and when Paul asked why she explained that she a) had a bad leg, b) had a cold, c) was a little drunk and d) didn’t like swimming with all the other people splashing about in the dark. It was of course nothing to do with the fact that she was a tad overweight and didn’t want anyone to see her in a swimming costume, or the other fact that she would have had even more trouble than Paul had done getting out of the water and would have got embarrased when she would have had to ask for help.

Fraukia, who had left sobriety behind some time before, began animated conversation with Paul. The first thing she mentioned was an incident she just happened to recall that occured while she was in Hanoi. A guy had come up to her while she was in a bar and had chatted her up. The funny thing was that she had not been at all interested in the guy even though he was ‘quite fit’ and after he had been pestering her all evening she eventually had to tell him that she was not interested in him ‘in that way’ even though he was, she repeated, ‘quite fit’. The next night, in the same bar, she said, he had come up to her again and pestered her and eventually she had to tell him to get lost because he wouldn’t leave her alone. Paul listened along to what she was saying, commenting every now and again, glancing across every now and again to see what Katie was up to and sipping his by now thoroughly delicious rice vodka. When you’re drunk almost anything can seem interesting but Paul could not fathom which if any elements of her tale were interesting. If anything it was sending him to sleep. When she had finished her soporific story she gave a little nervous laugh and smiled at Paul. Paul took another sip of his drink. The conversation drifted on.

Before a new topic developed Katie came over to them and sat down. She was all smiles with a drink in her hand and wondered what Paul and Fraukia were talking about. Fraukia, less animated now, explained that they had been talking about how often you get pestered in the bars by people who want to hook up with you. She ended her summary of the conversation with another little laugh. Katie smiled a warm smile at the two of them. Yes, she said, she knew what Fraukia meant, it got very annoying sometimes. Paul wanted examples. After all he said, with a smile at Katie, it didn’t seem to happen to him ever. He couldn’t remember ever being bugged by lots of people trying to hook up with him. Except, he recalled with a lie and a laugh, the time he went to a gay bar.

That, Katie said, was exactly what she and Fraukia meant. It’s always the boys who hit on you even when you weren’t flirting. At this point Fraukia looked at Katie with a measured glance. She wanted to say "Yes, but as you’re always flirting and looking like a frigging tart it’s hardly surprising is it?" but she said nothing. She didn’t know how to say it, or what to say. She just waited and hoped Katie went away.

Paul wanted examples. He asked Katie if there was anyone on the boat who had been hitting on her. "Oh, you know, not especially," she replied. She smiled conspiratorily, announced that she was off to get another drink, got up and moved to another group of people. Paul watched her go.

Now that Katie had pushed off Fraukia brightened up and restarted her conversation with Paul. Irritatingly Paul did not seem to be as interested in her conversation as he was in Katie’s. They began talking about the people on the boat and Fraukia felt the need to regain some lost ground. Oh yes, said Fraukia, she liked everyone on the boat. Except Katie. Of course, Katie was nice and everything, but Fraukia was a bit fed up with her. She had not stopped flirting with all the boys since she got on the boat and now she had had enough of it. The fact was, she assured Paul, Katie was attention seeking, a waste of time. There she was now, in her bikini and saree with her retinue of boys, showing off. Paul looked across again at Katie. There she was, in her bikini and saree, looking beautiful. Here they were on the boat, Fraukia went on, and everyone was trying to enjoy themselves and Katie was intent on dominating everything. There wasn’t anything wrong with it in itself, she went on, it was just that it was a bit boring after a while. Paul had not perceived anything boring about Katie but he said that he could see what Fraukia meant in order to keep the peace.

The evening drew on and now Paul and Fraukia were disturbed in their conversation by an argument that had erupted next to them. Tom was talking to Katie, talking at her to be more precise. He was using a tone not in keeping with that which he had been using the whole of the rest of the day with Katie, which was a flirtatious one. Now he was angry. Paul and Fraukia only caught the end of what the two of them were saying.

"I’m sorry," said Tom, "but I don’t like you. I think you’re pathetic."

"But I haven’t done anything," replied Katie, not for the first time.

"Oh fuck off!" answered Tom, "You know exactly what you’ve been doing. I know it, everbody knows it. So why don’t you just piss off and let everybody enjoy themselves without you fucking everybody off."

Katie wanted to stay and fight her corner but she knew that tears were on the way and that would have made the situation a lot worse, so she turned away from Tom and left the top deck for the dining room below.

Paul and Fraukia stood up and went over to Tom. "What was all that about, mate? What’s she
done?"

"I’ve had enough of her Paul, I really have. I’m sick of people like that."

"What did she do?"

"Oh come on," Tom went on, "she’s been flirting with everyone all night, as usual, but she’s not
really interested. She just enjoys pissing us off."

"What did you do?" said Paul.

"I’ve had enough of it and I told her so. I told her I didn’t want to talk to her anymore and I thought she should fuck off."

"It looks like she did," said Paul, noncommitally.

Tom smiled at Paul. "And she did! Honestly mate," he went on, "she’s been getting on my tits since I met her a few days ago."

But still, thought Paul, Tom had been a bit strong, and he told him so.

"Probably I was mate, perhaps," he replied. "I’ve had a few drinks. But I spoke my mind. Somebody had to tell her. Anyway, fuck it, want a drink?"

They had another drink. Fraukia told Paul that what Tom had said was exactly what she had been going on about. Paul said that he was going to find Martin. It was a fairly thin excuse to get away from Fraukia as the top deck wasn’t very big and Martin couldn’t be far away, but he had had enough Katie bashing for one night. Regarding Katie, Paul was something of an innocent bystander. He had barely talked to her and hadn’t made any moves on her so he had nothing personally against who she had or had not been flirting with. He understood why both Fraukia and Tom were annoyed but he shared neither of their reasons.

Where was Martin? He wasn’t on the top deckand no-one had seen him for a while. Remembering his own trouble in getting out of the water and the fact that he didn’t recall seeing Martin since he had got on the boat, the worrying thought occured to Paul that Martin might still be in the water which given the amount that he had drunk meant that he was probably in a world of bother. Paul went to the deck below to find him.

In the dining area the lights were off and Paul had trouble seeing his way about. Before he was able to identify Martin he came across Katie who said a soft hello. Paul quickly explained that he hadn’t come down to disturb her but was looking for Martin whom he was worried about, and then went on past her. He eventually discovered Martin at a table at the far end of the dining area. He wasn’t exactly sitting on the chair or lying on the table or the floor, he seeming to be pursuing all three and had twisted his body into an impressive shape. Whatever he had been planning to do he had passed out in the attempt and was now sleeping soundly. Paul’s mission was accomplished, Martin had been discovered and was alive, even if he would wish he wasn’t come morning. Foolishly, Martin had left an unfinished bottle of rice vodka on the table, which Paul took the liberty of pinching.

Paul turned to leave. Making his way slowly back to the stairs he planned to go back to the top deck and rejoin the last of the party but as he did the thought occured to him to talk to Katie and say that he was sorry that Tom had upset her. He thought he spotted her through the darkness and mumbled something along the lines of a hello. Her voice spoke from behind him asking after Martin. Paul turned around carefully and made her out at one of the tables. She hadn’t moved, Paul had just got confused. He told her that Martin was asleep in the corner and seemed okay. He could just make out a smile as she answered that it was nice of Paul to see that his friend was alright. She asked if Paul had known Martin long. Paul thought about this for a while. How long had he known Martin? A week? No longer. They had become good friends in a week. Just a week.

Paul wanted to know why Katie thought Tom had said what he did and he told Katie what Tom and Fraukia had said to him about her. Paul knew that what they had said to him they had meant to have been taken in confidence but he didn’t care. People say a lot of things which they intend to be ‘in confidence’. What that often means is that they want to have a moan about someone and say things they can’t substantiate as what they say is nothing more than subjective conjecture and Paul figured that what Tom and Fraukia had said was just that. If it got back to them that he had told Katie what they had said then he’d take the flak, and if that meant that Tom and Fraukia didn’t want to talk to him anymore then that was fine by Paul; he didn’t care to sit and listen to their prejudiced moanings anyway.

Katie quietly listened to what Paul told her, without responding. When he finished there was a pause. Finally she began to reply. She knew that she shouldn’t care about what they said. What was she supposed to do? Not go out? Whenever she went out boys wanted to talk to her and what was she supposed to do about it? Not go out? Hide away in a white painted room with candles burning waiting for Prince Charming to come and take her away to his castle? She liked going out, she liked meeting people, she liked having fun. Who doesn’t? If she was better at it than Fraukia was then was that her fault? She was sure that Fraukia had lots of qualities that she didn’t have and if Fraukia chose to get hung up about it and moan then was that her fault. What was she supposed to do? Cut her tounge out, dress up in a bin liner, put a paper bag on her head and sit in the corner? Not go out? If Fraukia wanted to be annoyed with her then it was Fraukia’s problem.

Paul answered that he understood that and he figured she was right. But what about what Tom had said to her? Did she understand why he was angry with her?

Katie sighed a frustrated sigh. She admitted that she did sometimes flirt with people, but then, who doesn’t? But most of the time she was simply nice to people, being friendly. Was Paul flirting with Fraukia when he was talking to her earlier?

No, not at all, was Paul’s answer. But you never know where these things lead. But no, he had been making conversation, that was all.

And that was exactly what Katie had been doing, so she said. Paul told her that he figured she
must have done something to put ideas into his head. She insisted that she had done nothing. In fact she had done nothing, she was just one of the beautiful people. She said that if people like Tom got other things into his head then what was she supposed to do. She knew that Tom liked her because she knew that most men did but did that mean that she was supposed to not talk to him in case he wanted something more? Why shouldn’t she be friendly to him, have fun with him, perhaps even be a bit flirtatious with him, she was drunk after all, yet not actually want to jump into bed with him or in fact do anything at all?

But why was Tom so angry?

Katie and Tom had been hanging around together since they got on the boat. After all, Tom was one of the only people she knew beforehand. The two of them had gone swimming like almost everyone else. They had laughed and splashed about together and then he kissed her. She had slithered out of his embrace, pushed him away, laughed and chuckled a bit as she didn’t want to make a scene or upset him and swam away. She had more or less stopped speaking to him after that just in case he got any more ideas and she had watched how much she drank. And then he had started shouting at her.

Tom had got mad because being the prick-tease that she was she had toyed with him and then dumped him. And he told her his mind.

Wherever she went Katie always caused trouble and as long as she remained one of the world’s beautiful people, she always would. With Katie, you either loved her or hated her and that always caused trouble.

Katie yawned and thanked Paul for being so sympathetic. She said again that it was nice of her to look out for Martin. Here was someone, she thought, who had not hit on her, had looked out for his friend and listened to her patiently. She smiled at him and hugged him. Paul knew then that all he wanted to do was kiss her. After the hug she settled back into the soft double seat and said goodnight. Paul said goodnight too and went back upstairs. The party was over, everyone asleep on the top deck. He sat for a while at the railing with his feet dangling over the edge and looked at the sparkling moonlit sea. Before long his eyes closed and he fell asleep. He hadn’t been able to finish the rice wine either.

Fin

talkbacks next time im getting thrown out