Posted 7:52 AM by Gobbler
so many blogs, so little time.

just bade farewell to brandon, off to get the bus to sapa amd from there china.

and so to continue. as with much of this part of the world, our trip to ha long was possessed by contradiction. so much beauty and enjoyment, yet so much ugliness and unpleasantness. better words are out there to describe what i am trying to tell you, but i dont possess them and in any case these will do. and so we had our guides and staff tell us what we could and couldnt do, when we must get on the boat, where we must sit for our dinner. it wasnt 'ok, so now we have arrived at isalnd x. if everyone would like to go downstairs now we will get off the boat and bard the bus where we will go to destination y to begin tour z' it was 'you go downstairs now'. maybe you can blame their english skills, but it didnt seem necessary to us; a group, in my opinion, of pleasant and easy-going individuals. but let us continue.

and so we were allowed to get back on the boat, lucky old us. we cruised away frmo cat ba to our moorings, in a quiet and calm area of sea next to a sister ship. three of us ahd to go to that ship for our dinner, as for some reason inexplicable to us and entirely unexplained by the crew, we could not all eat on our boat. i was among those who volunteered to join the other boatm and there followed a pleasantly passable dinner with some new punters, we shared a bottle of the red stuff, tho in the end i did not pay for my share. after the meal, brandon came to see how we were doing. as he arrived at our table, he was informed by one of the crew that he was not allowed on the boat. no explanation was offered, even when demanded, and he left quite miffed. he reapeared some five minutes later at our window. he climbed through and joined us, hiding when necessary from the patrols. Ridiculous and incomprehensible, but the honest truth.

after that we cracked open the rice vodka and beer and wine, and commenced a little jolly back on our boat. the crew refused to turn the deck lights on, but declined to answer why. they further declined to allow us access to the stereo. it is also unclear as to why they did this. but we were not to be outdone, and torches were unveiled. the party was joined by some memebers of the other boat, and in time the best part of the evening, and quite possibly the tour, occured: rocket-fuelled phosphorescent swimming.

i dont know exactly what it is in the water. the algae or plankton or maybe somethiung else altogehter, but as one swam through the water, it came alive and lit up the water. It was as if you were swimming through stars. the deeper you went, the warmer the water became. i dont know what this had to do with it, if anything, but the phosphorescence became more intense, angel dust left in your path. waving your hands down deep you could see a bright trail, a comet's or a sparklers at halloween. Magical.

i was not 100% well the next day, but the 16km hike through cat ba's jungle fought through the pain. one could say it was almost like being back in nam during the tet offensive of '68. those jungle patrols with an m16 in one hand and a fag in the other, looking for gooks. you see, its all about popping a cap in charlies ass. no m16's or charlie or gooks, just a few massive spiders. much bigger than in belize, these bad boys are about 15 cm in diameter. do not mess. i did not. the trek was excellent, a friendly tho quiet guide, some good leg stretching action, a lot of sweating (mark, a sound australian, wrung his t-shirt out at luch time and it was absolutely sodden. about half a pint or more of the stuff dripped out. really made me savour my bread and banana luncheon.

more to write, but no time. i have to meet a matey. just to say that for a little while we followed a dirt road tghrough the forest. at onepoint a digger was busy ripping through a chunk of hill where the road had went, to make the road flatter. there was thus a seven foot high earth wall in the middle of the road and we were on teh lower side. to allow us to proceed the digger demolished a little bit of hill to create a ramp for us to walk up. good lad.

ha long saga continues after the break. also have to write about the dodgy bus ticket guy i met in a bar one evening. and so may other amusing things.

TulsaHilton: guest wing? what happened to the presidential suite? Evil uncle: tentacles shmentacles, i eat them for breakfast. yesterday, in fact. laura: well, i'll be a son of a gun, congratulations again, well done you clever little thing. ah, this is an outrage dont you know. have fun in veeeeeeeeeeeeeegas, it looks as tho i may not make it there now, but we'll see. Win a couple of games for me anyhow. say hi to your mum for me. hello tony you gargantuan behemoth of a superpunk. tom, if youre up in seattle on the eighth,where do you plan to go from there? back down south? had hoped to hit vegas a little later, but plans have worked out so that ive four days less than i had wanted on the west coast. i''ll have to consult the relevant authorities on this one. i hadnt planned to leave seattle area before 10th aug. but at very least i should be able to meet you in seattle on the eigth for some amusement. how are you getting to vegas, and when? landing in san fran on 29th july a.m.. would love to roll out to vegas with you, and may cry if its not possible. Flying out of l.a. on i think the 17th, so on a bit of a schedule. do youpaln to head down that way around then? as you say, ts all a bit complicated. one way or tother, however, we will get the beers in. let me know what your plans are man and i''ll see you in afew weeks. all the rest: punky-wunkies.

Posted 6:52 AM by Gobbler
its time to spend an hour or so on the blog.
actually, today may not be a long entry as its getting rather late and for reasons that will at some stage become clear i have tomorrow available to internet, and for free.

arrived back this afternoon from ha long bay tour. truly one of the most beautiful places i have ever been. i had not even decided originally to go on such a trip, but brandon assured me that it was pretty damn special and i acquiesced, if thats a word. I've seen a few sights over the years but the islands were as of a fantasy land. i'd seen pictures of them and others similar, of course (let us all check our video collections and slap on the man with the golden gun and scaramanger's island base, just like that) but to see it was wonderful. jagged lumps of forest clad rock spearing out of the water, with the occasional beach and concealed cove. Little floating villages nestled in the broader bays, one house possessed a pool table. It is difficult to see how one could play a descent game of pool on what is basically a raft with a roof, but then i suppose when you've got the only pool table in town you accept minor prblems like the balls rolling around willy-nilly. we stopped off at one of the boats to pick up fish for dinner, but dinner materialised as nothing t write home about.

we took in a couple of grottoes and had a dip in ha long bay, i guess the most fmoous of many bays. a very nice dip, but the best was yet t come, when it got dark...

after dropping off those who had elected to stay on the island, we turned to a quiet spot where our moorings were found. but i should just mention that as we docked at cat ba island a group of us disembarked to pick up cheap water etc - ieverything was very expensive on the boat. our guide said we could only have a couple of minutes, but clearly he just did not want us to get off and buy elsewhere. as we haggled our price, we were warned that we must go. given that they had kept us waiting at various times for half an hour here, half an hour there, we did not perceive any huge rush.

when we returned to our boat, it had gone. that is to say, it was not in the smae place where it had moored. Brandon,who had stayed n the boat, was now on the pier, and beckoned us to cme quifckly. the boaat had left without us and he had leapt, possible indiana jones style, from the boat, in a desperate attempt to stop the boat from leaving without us. when we returned it was just in th process of re-mooring, and in due course we were able to get back on board. this was turning into a tour where if you didn't do what you were told to do, the consequences were unpredicatable.

consequences shmonsequences as they say, but you will have to wait because i wrote a load of emails and have had enough now. goodnight

Posted 6:58 AM by Gobbler
I have taken the liberty of quitting hoi an in favour of more northern climes, and arrived in hanoi today on the night bus. (sorry mike, i know you specifically directed me to get the train, but the journey was damn funny nd thus quite like a train) met a canadian matey who joined the bus at hue called brandon whom i had met in hoi an. he just had time to point out the major sights. the citadel (not much here as it was decimated in the war (u.s. again i'm afraid), but nice tombs and ruined bits. The multicloured bridge - not as good as it sounds either, a concrete bridge wot the locals have put some coloured lights on to flicker playfully over the soft rippling waters of the reknowned Perfume River and romance onlookers with beautiful vistas, reminding them of tranquil times etc etc; The highlight in my opinion, howevre, and the most ridiculous accolade for a town ever conceived. it rivals Smasheys 'Pipe smoker of the year award 1978'. Hue is the very proud owner of the tallest flagpole in vietnam. the lucky thing.

so zipped round hanois delights today, in something of a haze after being on the bus for 15 hours and then dumped off at 5 am. did breakfast in a cafe by hanois principle landmark, the lake that was so memorable i cant remember the name of it. More interesting was the fact that the cafe we went to didnt have any idea what scrambled eggs were. quite happy with fried, knew the difference between sunny side up and down, and professed expertise on the omelette front, but denied all knowledge of scrambling.

This upset me a trifle, as it has become my custom to chomp through thoroughly scrmbled eggs before combatting the day. But at half six it was too eaarly to argue, and i had to make do with three fried eggs and bacon. They didnt have mushrooms either.

swiftly took in a pagoda on an island on the lake. Briefly, lal loi, famous viet nam warrior, got a sword off a giant turtle one day while fishing on the lake. he used this mighty tool to bash the chinkies who had decided that they wanted to stay in vietnam. they knew, as we all know, that its all about the 'nam. with turtle powered sword, however, our chinese chappies ran away away. unfortunately, lal loi had to give the sword back to said turtle, and so its in the lake somewhere. t sounds to me like the vietnam tourist board has been reading a little too much about king arthur and cadre, but who am i to say such things. Theres a timy island with a temple on it which we saw from the shore, but we were able to get to the pagoda, locaated n a seperate and larger island connected with the mainland by a charming chinese style red wooden bridge. it appears it is a big tourist pilgrimage site - not much in the way f westerners there. highlights included a stuffed/somehow preserved turtle and a crazy photographer whose angle was to lean out over the water on the bridge, hlding on only by hooking his leg over the bannister. Quite a wacky guy, you will admit. he seemed t be doing a roaring trade, and brandon and i coould not help but wonder what calamities might ensue were some cheeky monkey too give him a little nudge...

after that it was off to one f the many museums in hanoi, the revolution museum. full of interesting and nt so interesting artifacts from the nations (proud) commie past. There was madame guillotine brought over by the french at the turn of the century, and lots of ak 47s and pictures of people wielding them, and lots of swords and the like used by revolutionaries to kill invader types. all interesting enough, but the descriptions were all the same, e.g., scimitar, from co chii province, used by Minh Nao Som to destroy japanese rice jars, 1945. All the rest were 'different but same same' as the phrase goes. a little other stuff about some big public works that govenment has made. hmmm.

left there and realised that if we wanted to see Ho Chi Minh in his preserved state, and we did, we had to get there before it shut at the quite silly time of 11 am. off we dashed, and just made it. amazing. he looks like he only died yesterday. if it had been disney world he would have sat up and started chirping communist spiel, but no, he was just dead. He wanted too just be cremated apparently. By all accounts a thorughly good man.

went off for lunch where peanuts were placed on ur table and then charged to our bill. Annoyed at that. After lunch took in the military museum, which had highlights. A t55 tank used to smash through the gates of the presidential palace in saigon, and a phat aa missile used to drop B52's. Apart froom that there was an incomprehensible film and lots of ak 47s and pictures of people wielding them, and lots of swords and the like used by revolutionaries to kill invader types. all interesting enough, but the descriptions were all the same, e.g., sword, from xin hao province, used by hero Chai Bai Com to fight revolutinary war, 1948. All the rest were 'different but same same' as the phrase goes.

Off to ha long bay tomorrow for a three day tour. After that its chiang mai and trekking fun. thats great. Laura: congratulations on the first! how are the celebrations going? sorry nt to be there. Youve got no excuses for not getting a job now... Tom: getting to u.s. 29th but plan is to head straight up to seattle to meet subtle chum. if good for you will meet you in seattle or san fran a couple of weeks later. She doesnt know it yet, but considering trying to convince matey to join us on that little roadtrip to vegas. she doesnt have a '69 chevvy but such is life - will keep you posted. Hockey rich: dont go, the doctor is sure to try something throughly evil while my intelligence division is down, i'm blinded! thatnks for th info, have a good trip. Ev Unc? I know who you are and i'll hunt you down wherever you go, foul pestilent fiend. Your secret island base will be visited shortly. papa smurf, n conjunction wiht the wombles of wimbledon common: i heard that your furry friends make good use f the things that they find. Is this true? They're the things that the everyday folk leave behind, in fact. What oh what, and heres the crucial point, would you do if you stumbled across a dirty bomb? or a fully loaded blunderbuss? or an ocatagonal frisbee. Dr. O., i dont need to remind you, is thoroughly evil and of course dirty, and therefore by no means a member of the homely term 'everyday folk.' Mum and dad and rellies in general: hello! Didnt mean too call you punks, sorry. Katy and all, everythings proceeding according to plan. if i dont get struck down by Dr O or one of his unspeakably horrid host, i'll be there on schedule. Looking forward to seeing you all! Peter C and family, if youre on: same same but different. I dont know whats happened to the north terminal, it definitely alludes to it on the ticket. Time will tell... Everyone else: probably the finest punks in the world.